Three South Shore families with loved ones serving in the Massachusetts National Guard agreed to let Patriot Ledger readers follow their lives at home while those loved ones serve in Iraq. This is part of an occasional series on those families as they live, cope, love and wait.

STORY BY KAREN GOULART
THE PATRIOT LEDGER

While her husband, Richard, is at war in Iraq, Solveig Sheehan of Weymouth is pining a bit for the battle the couple should be having here at home. Sheehan loves Christmas and all the preparations that go along with it. Her bright blue eyes light up as she describes meshing the holiday traditions of her native Norway with those of Richard and his family.

As a couple, one of their own traditions is the annual “argument” over the tree.

“We’ll shop together for the tree and the battle will begin, he’ll want the biggest tree available,” Sheehan said. “And I’ll say, ‘How are we going to fit this in the house?’”

This year, with Richard away, she wasn’t even going to bother with the hassle of a tree.

But Richard won again.

“He asked me last time we were on the phone, ‘Did you get the tree yet?’” she said with a laugh.

It might not be the biggest on the lot, but there is a tree in the Sheehan home in Weymouth.

 

AMELIA KUNHART/The Patriot Ledger

Solveig Sheehan, right, mails a holiday package to her husband, Richard, a first sergeant in the National Guard in Iraq. Debbie Zanstuck, a clerk in the South Weymouth Post Office, prepares the box for its overseas journey.

Richard, a first sergeant with Delta Company, 1st Battalion of the 181st Infantry Regiment of the Massachusetts National Guard, has a Christmas tree, too. A little artificial tree Solveig bought has traveled thousands of miles so the couple can carry on their tradition even though they are separated by continents.

And, of course, there are gifts. Solveig sent presents to one of Richard’s fellow soldiers and friends to place under the tree on Christmas morning.

It makes her happy to know that he won’t be the only soldier receiving gifts. Grace Baptist Church in Hudson, a congregation that has “adopted” the 181st by helping with family activities and meetings, sent personalized gift packages to everyone in the company.

Between the church, school groups, and others, Solveig is thrilled with the outpouring for the military during the holiday season.

“It warms my heart, number one, the fact that people make the effort so selflessly,” she said.

“And I don’t think there are words to describe how it is received on the other side.”

She is taking the advice she has given to others as the leader of the regiment’s Family Readiness Group: “Keep life normal and keep busy.”

“Normal” isn’t easy this time of year, but keeping up traditions helps. As a nurse at Beth Israel-Deaconess Medical Center in Boston, she will work on Christmas Day, but plans to celebrate with her in-laws.

“My husband’s family is phenomenal,” she said. “I couldn’t be luckier in that way.”

As for “busy,” that’s been no problem between work, holiday shopping – twice as much to do with Richard gone – trying to set up a new Web site for the readiness group and renovating the house. Time, she said, is flying by.

She hopes time is passing as briskly for the other families.

Unlike some of them, the Sheehans have been separated by military service a few times before.

“I think they’ve found their own rhythm now,” she said. “But there will always be moments that come up, like birthdays and holidays.”

At this point, Richard is nearly halfway through his tour and just weeks away from a possible visit in January or February for 10 days.

Solveig wants to have the renovations finished as a gift to him when he gets back. It’s a project she started when he left.

But she’s working without a deadline. Richard will know 30 days in advance when he’s going to travel.

“But I won’t,” she said with a laugh.

And that’s one of the things she’s come to learn about the military. “Even if you do get a date, I don’t believe anything until he’s on the tarmac,” she said.

They haven’t made any specific plans for the visit beyond seeing family and friends and probably going away for a few days.

“Or he might want to sleep for a few days, he’ll be so exhausted,” she said.

Whatever he wants to do will be fine with her.

E-mails are fine, phone calls are better – even with the 15-second delay – but nothing matches the real thing.

“It’s one thing to hear his voice,” she said. “But to see his face and be able to put my hands on him, to see he’s all in one piece, a big burden will be lifted.”

Solveig Sheehan, right, mails a holiday package to her husband, Richard, a first sergeant in the National Guard in Iraq. Debbie Zanstuck, a clerk in the South Weymouth Post Office, prepares the box for its overseas journey. AMELIA KUNHARDT/The Patriot Ledger Karen Goulart may be reached at kgoulart@ledger.com.