AMELIA KUNHARDT/The Patriot Ledger

Brittany Oliver, 16, of Hanover wears a ring symbolizing her pledge of abstinence from sex before marriage.

Virginity is being embraced
by growing number of youths

 

[CORRECTION published 10/31/02: BRAINTREE – The town’s schools use their own curriculum, developed with community participation, in sex education classes. Due to incorrect information provided to The Patriot Ledger, a story in Tuesday’s paper stated incorrectly that the schools use a Planned Parenthood program in the classes.]

By KAREN ESCHBACHER
The Patriot Ledger

Sixteen-year-old Brittany Oliver wears a shiny silver band on her left ring finger.

It’s a promise ring of sorts. Oliver, of Hanover, has promised to wait until she is married to have sex. On her wedding night, whenever that may be, she will present the ring to her husband as a gift.

‘‘When I’m married it’s obviously the person I’m supposed to be with,’’ said Oliver, a high school sophomore at Noble & Greenough in Dedham. ‘‘I know I won’t be making any mistakes. If I ever had sex before I was married then if we broke up it would just be devastating. I know when I'm married that’s the person I'll be spending the rest of my life with.’’

In an age when plots of popular television shows revolve around the sordid love lives of high school students, Oliver's pledge may seem like an anomaly. But calls for abstinence, once led by the religious right, are becoming more mainstream.

From high school students to physicians to Miss America, abstinence advocates are growing increasingly vocal in their efforts to convince teens that it's not only OK, but smart, to wait.

And if President Bush has his way, that message will only get louder. Bush has proposed increasing by $33 million the amount spent on abstinence-only programs, a controversial plan because programs that use the federal funds cannot include talk of safe sex. (Federal law requires they teach that ‘‘sexual activity outside of the context of marriage is likely to have harmful psychological and physical effects.’’)

If approved by Congress, the increased funding could have a significant impact on the way sex education is taught across the country.

Whether the abstinence message is being embraced by teens is hard to quantify. Forty-four percent of Massachusetts high school students have had sex, according to the 2001 Youth Risk Behavior Survey, which questioned slightly more than 4,000 students in grades 9 to 12. That’s down from a high of 48 percent in 1993.

Ten high school students from across the South Shore who participated in a Patriot Ledger teen focus group this past spring estimated that half their classmates are having sex.

Error processing SSI file

The Ledger organized the focus group to talk about dating and sexual violence in response to two high-profile cases in which local high school boys were arrested for allegedly raping female classmates. The cases are still pending in court.

The teens said abstinence is rare.

‘‘No one says, ‘I’m waiting for marriage,’’’ one girl in the focus group said. ‘‘I’m waiting for the right person, yeah, but marriage, no.’’

Oliver knows her decision to wait until marriage puts her in the minority. Still, she is by no means alone.

Just last month, she and some 650 teenagers from across the state - including dozens from the South Shore - attended an abstinence education event in Easton and pledged not to have sex out of wedlock. The teens slid silver rings onto their fingers to symbolize the vow.

‘‘That tells me that this message of abstinence is an important one,’’ said Lynne Payne, an Easton parent who brought the national Silver Ring Thing program (silverringthing.com) to the area. ‘‘These kids are smart enough to figure out what the culture has been throwing at them. They're not buying into it, ... I think kids are starting to see and feel the repercussions. They’re starting to realize that sex can kill you, physically but also emotionally.’’

Those who are pushing abstinence say it’s not just about religious teachings, though that often factors in.

There are well-publicized worries about pregnancy, AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases. While condoms are generally effective in prevention, human papillomavirus, or HPV, is one of the fastest growing sexually transmitted diseases among teenagers, and condoms only sometimes stop its spread, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. HPV is linked to genital warts and can cause cervical cancer.

Other abstinence advocates cite a reason that is less serious, but still painful: a broken heart. Teens, they say, are not emotionally ready to deal with the complications created when sex is introduced into a relationship.

Massachusetts leaves it up to individual school districts to determine what, if anything, to teach about sex, HIV and sexually transmitted diseases. The only state requirement is that parents be allowed to remove their children from discussions they consider inappropriate, said Heidi Perlman, a spokeswoman for the state Department of Education.

Ninety-four percent of students who responded to the state survey said they had been taught about HIV and AIDS in school, and 51 percent had been taught in school how to use a condom. Programs on the South Shore vary.

Students in Sharon are taught ‘‘wise decision making,’’ said Tim Vigorito, the district’s health and physical education coordinator. That means high school students learn about abstinence, but they also learn about safe sex. Condoms are available in the nurse’s office and from a select group of teachers.

Weymouth’s message, by contrast, is ‘‘primarily abstinence,’’ said Kathy Lavery, the district’s safe and drug-free coordinator. For example, a guest speaker talked to students last year about love in relationships and ‘‘saving yourself for the person you love,’’ Lavery said. In general, teachers do not address issues such as condom use unless a student poses a specific question. And in some such cases, teachers refer students back to their parents.

‘‘These are their children, and we want the best for them and their children,’’ Lavery said.

President Bush, undoubtedly, would prefer Weymouth’s model. He wants to increase to $135 million the amount spent on abstinence-only education.

Click to view chart showing Teen Sex Trends

Federal money first became available for that purpose through a section of the welfare reform act passed in 1996. States apply for money and must follow strict guidelines outlining what programs are acceptable. California is the only state that doesn't participate.

Most states use at least some of the money for school-related or classroom programs or presentations, according to a 2001 analysis by the The Alan Guttmacher Institute, a nonprofit organization focused on sexual and reproductive health. Massachusetts uses all $739,000 it receives annually to pay for an abstinence media campaign that includes radio spots, brochures and posters on MBTA trains.

Planned Parenthood, which promotes ‘‘comprehensive’’ sexual education, opposes increased funding for abstinence-only programs. Jill Kantrowitz, director of education and training for the Planned Parenthood League of Massachusetts, said most Americans do, too. She worried that the money could eventually seep into Massachusetts schools and dictate what can, and cannot, be taught.

‘‘The challenge is that abstinence-only programs teach that abstinence is the only acceptable form, the only acceptable behavior,’’ Kantrowitz said. When they speak to contraceptives it is to say that condoms don’t work or contraceptive methods don’t work. It’s essentially hiding information.’’

Planned Parenthood provides in-school comprehensive sex ed in 21 Massachusetts towns, including Braintree. Towns pay $300 for a series of four or five classes.

Planned Parenthood is considering filing legislation that would require that Massachusetts school districts ‘‘teach balanced and responsible sex education,’’ said Pam Nourse, the agency’s vice president of public affairs. If it were enacted, districts would teach abstinence, but also provide information about contraceptives, she said.

Even some teens who have taken an abstinence pledge think sex ed should include discussions about preventing pregnancy and STDs.

Meaghan Feeney, a 14-year-old freshman at Scituate High School, said she plans to wait until marriage to have sex. But she knows many teens expect to lose their virginity before graduation.

‘‘Even if (teachers) did say, ‘Don’t have sex,’ someone is going to anyway,’’ Feeney said. ‘‘They should know how to be safe.’’

Karen Eschbacher may be reached at keschbacher@ledger.com.

Copyright 2002 The Patriot Ledger
Transmitted Tuesday, October 29, 2002

Top of Page | Return to Series Summary