It takes some hard work to find real solitude any time of year, away from our daily demands and stresses. But at holiday time, its even harder.

To me, it doesn't matter what religion you observe. The dominant culture of our country prevails. However, the consumerism and materialism that has emerged is beyond anyone's escape. Year after year, people complain about the commercialism of the Christmas season. Rightly so.

It's true that finding peace and solitude in the small, meaningful moments of our lives is an escape. But where and how do we recognize and find these little pieces of quiet?

Feeling isolated

As a baby boomer entering my early 50s, I never dealt with the stresses of Christmas preparations - trees, colored lights strung over my shrubs, cookie baking and weekend parties. Being Jewish, I considered myself lucky to be free of these stresses. But what I thought freed me, actually made me feel isolated. Even with one wrapped gift for each night of Hanukkah, there's scant competition for the excitement and buildup to Christmas Eve.

So I really don't need an escape from the Holiday rush ... it was built into my genes.

I need to be a part of that madness, the endless shopping, preparing for the perfect ham dinner, home decorations that sparkle and light up the neighborhood. The smell of pine needles is one of my favorite smells in the world. But to me, a fresh tree or wreath from a local farm were off limits.

Seeking solace

I find comfort in the fact of our country's diversity. After all, many religions do not celebrate Christmas, and I enjoy learning about Buddhist and Hindu traditions not far from the street where I live. I think about the spirit of the holidays. Because they all involve traditional family gatherings, that is where I can get my spark. I'll learn to say no to those unbeatable discounts, and be prouder of my own tradition while learning about people with cultures very different from my own.

Relax and retreat

This year, I'll retreat into a book about Kwanza, search the Net for some crafty items to make from fresh pine, and resist that department store discount for a larger check to the Pig Protection Campaign. And the stress of staying awake until midnight to watch the ball drop in New York's Times Square? I'll curl up in bed with a good book and when my eyelids start to get heavy, this year I just won't fight it.